I have been fortunate in my career to be pulled in many ways. I have been blessed with multiple opportunities. And often, it seems, the choices are mine. Yet whenever possible (read: whenever I think of it) I invite divine guidance. I wonder, if I remember to wonder, what would God want me to do?
Fifteen years ago, for instance, I was faced with a choice to work more on my book manuscript or work more on growing my company. A Quaker clearness committee appeared. I’m not sure how it happened; perhaps upon hearing of my struggle a Friend said, “How about clearness committee?” I didn’t know what one was but was happy to go along. Four people from my meeting stepped up and met with me multiple times, always starting and ending in silence, wondering what God wants.
I decided to focus on work, and I also began writing weekly Good Group Tips. It was a Friend who said something about a pail of water a drip at a time. My tips were one page each and I wrote 160 of them (full pail available for free at my website).
Years later I invented “Make Shift Coffee Houses,” places for Democrats and Republicans to talk and understand each other. I organized 40 of them in person around Maine and 13 online. They were quite popular and effective and I was faced with making that project bigger, working on my book again, or focusing on my business.
Another committee appeared from the ranks of Durham Friends, this one an oversight committee to help me ensure that the choices I make and the messages I carry are well-guided. “It’s our job to nurture your gift,” the clerk once told me in a committee meeting.
Three or four years ago this Committee helped me decide to lay down Make Shift Coffee House, keep the business bare bones, and focus on getting a book published. COVID also helped with this decision—another form of divine guidance. And so I stepped away from other things and focused on writing and re-writing and re-writing. With committee meetings sporadically, as called. They were always helpful.
My book was published in September 2022. It’s called Together We Decide, An Essential Guide for Making Good Group Decisions. It contains many Quaker principles. Members of my oversight committee are named in the acknowledgements, and I continue to seek their guidance as I now stand and deliver the messages of the book. There are a lot of choices about where and what and who.
I have felt very supported by my meeting and by these two support committees. When answers come to me through a Quaker discernment process—whether with a formal committee, sitting silent in meeting, or perhaps a quick prayer before making a statement—I can trust my answer. The answers that come to me in the midst of my Quaker fellows—those answers I can trust.
When I tell people that I have a committee whose job it is to encourage me and keep me on track, I often get some version of: “That sounds awesome! I want a Quaker committee.” They’re right. It’s awesome. Together We Decide would not have gotten written and published without these support committees.
If you had a Quaker oversight committee, what question would you bring them?
Is there a gifted person in your Quaker community who might benefit from a clearness committee or oversight committee?